Letdown by the system….we all are

Turns out, I’ve been majorly let down by the system for the past year. I mean it wasn’t exactly serving me well before the past year, but this last year has quite literally been wasted.

I have been referred in and out of care with different societies and organisations. My closest community mental health clinic supposedly closed down. Turns out, it just moved, but no-one told the patients, told the doctor or the social carers. It just secretly disappeared and then reappeared elsewhere.

I was sent to a clinic over half an hour away, where I have only been given assessments, no therapy or recovery course. Over the year I gave up all hope for help. I realised there aren’t the services we need. They’re dwindling away and anyone with mental health had to deal with it alone.

But we’re not alone, we’re all in this together and turns out there are services out there, just extremely limited and selective. I’ve spent the last year bumbling about being told I’m this, that and the other, but never once given treatment for it.

Why?

Because they cant tell there left hand from their right. My doctor didn’t even know about the new mental health clinic, which luckily I have fought my way into and hopefully will get somewhere. I’m not holding out for it though. Chances are, I’ll get minimal treatment. I am entitled to a support worker, I should of been given one 6years ago when I had a breakdown and tried to kill myself numerous times. But I wasn’t, I was left alone.  I don’t know why either.

If you have mental health, it’s so hard to get help, the first step is realising you need it, but then you have to ask for it.  Both big feats in themselves. Then finally even if you do ask for it, what are the probabilities of you actually receiving the care and help you need?  Based on my experience, talking about mental health, speaking up and asking for help, may actually be met with a journey that’s long exhausting and pointless. No wonder no one talks about mental health, when it’s met with such dispair, confusion and lack of resources.

If you do need help, it almost feels like your completely alone, but your not. I know countless sufferers who have been in the same boat I am, or you are in. So you’re not completely alone, the system may be letting you down, the doctors, social workers, NHS, government may well be letting you down. But know your not actually ever alone when you have mental health, because there are countless people out there in the same shitty situation trying to figure it all out. I know it’s not exactly great news, but even when you’ve lost all despair and have no faith in getting better, know that the mental health sufferers and suicide rate is going up and so you are most definitely not alone in this. It’s tragic to think like that, but at least I know it’s not just me and my fault.

Mental health services are quite literally wank.

Keep going, look after yourself with all the love and care you can. You got this.

UDSF

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