I woke up somewhere else today, and as I began driving back I had an overwhelming urge to cry.
Why do I wanna cry? Ive had a pretty fucking good day so far, so why do I feel the need tocry?
Then I remember, sometimes when I want to cry, its not actually crying, and its not always bad. It’s just a huge surge of emotion that bubbles out of me, chokes me up a little and makes me a bit warm and fuzzy. A grin creeps across my face.
Im not always sad. Its an overwheleming sense of emotion.
They’re happy ‘tears’. I feel inspired, awake, alive, different, confident, able to get on with my way like I have a choice.. Being in a new place is great, I forgtot how much i love it. It awakens the sense. I need to go more places.
See everyone always thinks having bpd or mentlah health is a negativity. But theres a whole plethora of emotions and happiness and ecstatic joy I get to experience that others don’t, I just get a little combobulated about it all sometimes, and when I think I’m not ok, I’m actually brilliant.
It’s highly confusing, it keeps me on my toes, but its me, and thats all that matters.