Happy tears

I woke up somewhere else today, and as I began driving back I had an overwhelming urge to cry.

Why do I wanna cry?  Ive had a pretty fucking good day so far, so why do I feel the need tocry?

 Then I remember, sometimes when I want to cry, its not actually crying, and its not always bad.  It’s just a huge surge of emotion that bubbles out of me, chokes me up a little and makes me a bit warm and fuzzy.  A grin creeps across my face.

Im not always sad.  Its an overwheleming sense of emotion.

They’re happy ‘tears’.  I feel inspired, awake, alive, different, confident, able to get on with my way like I have a choice..  Being in a new place is great, I forgtot how much i love it.  It awakens the sense.  I need to go more places.

See everyone always thinks having bpd or mentlah health is a negativity.  But theres a whole plethora of emotions and happiness and ecstatic joy I get to experience that others don’t,  I just get a little combobulated about it all sometimes, and when I think I’m not ok, I’m actually brilliant.

It’s highly confusing, it keeps me on my toes, but its me, and thats all that matters.

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