Nothing in my life is ever boring.
Right down to the pants I wear, I am constantly expressing my innards.
I can’t be plain, simples or boring. I need to express, I need to vent, I need to project my insane emotional intelligence and expression on the world. If I don’t, I feel trapped. When I can’t it’s as if there’s a box around me surrounded by cement and I ain’t going nowhere.
For a long time, I thought my odd sense of clothing, my quirky ways and my inability to react appropriately even in the simplest of situations was a reflection of my inner artist. I fitted the stereotype, I was an artist.
Then I went to an art show. And I was confused. As usual I wore one of my brightest bits of clothing, an vibrant orange dress, some baby blue leggings twinned with brown harley boots. I could of worn a brown jacket, I chose a fuschia one. I look glorious.
It appeared, I was the only artist their. There was a single other dash of colour in that room, unless it was on canvas. Everyone worse black, or grey or neutral. It was heartbreaking, here I was mingling with my ‘fellows’, only I still stood out like a sore thumb. What was going on?
I didn’t understand how people so expressive externally on paper cannot be expressive within and on themselves and don’t want to show it. If I didn’t I would literally implode. If I can’t dance when I need it dance I feel stuck, if I can’t wear fun clothes because of a formal occasion, I don’t think I’d be able to go.
I thought I was a smash of colour because of my inner artist, and maybe it is part of it, but I’m realising, the quirky stereotype of an oddly colourfully clothed artist, is not true, and in fact, maybe it’s just inasinty makeing me so expressive.
People look at me weird all the time but I can’t help it I’m so expressive and full of emotions and feelings and complications that they literally spill and burst out at my seems, and your just not.
I like to express, I want to express. Ive been caged down my whole life. No more. I’m crazy and I’m cool and I love it. I hope you’ll join me 🙂